When you think about the feminine and sensual woman, how do you picture her? I see her as a woman with that special kind of allure and serenity about her; like she knows something about life others don't. She goes through the day with purpose and ease; getting everything done, but with elegance and style. She is savoring every little moment in her everyday life. If you want to be that woman, read on.
1. Style Up Your Mindset
Everything starts first with your mind; with your thoughts and beliefs. To become Her you have to believe you are or can be Her. Well, I'm here to tell you a little secret. The truth is that you actually already ARE her, but you just forgot that.
You are probably chasing your career and kids at the same time while spoiling that husband of yours and making sure that you show up for your girl tribe too. Or you feel like you're carrying a huge weight on your shoulders because you're a single mom trying to provide the best life you can for your little ones. Your mindset is so focused on "what's next", "how much more effort do I need to put into this to make it work", "there is not enough time to do everything I need to do", that you forget to stop and remind yourself of who you are. This is why this time, while most of us are stuck at home because of the coronavirus outbreak, is the perfect time to style up your mindset. To get in touch with your femininity and sensuality. To start being proud of who you are as a Woman and of all the little sensual traits we naturally have hidden inside of us. And please, don't mix sensuality with sexuality. As James Baldwin said:
To be sensual, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread.
This is the secret you can keep for yourself. So when your partner asks you about what kind of change did you do, that that there is just something different about you, you can simply say (with that alluring smile) - no, I didn't change anything, I'm just (finally) being Myself.
2. Style Up Your Closet
Yeah, we can't leave this one out. Especially now when you're probably spending your days in your old flannel pajamas or leggings and washed out T-shirt. How does it make you feel? Probably like you're home on sick leave. That's not either feminine or empowering.
The reason underlying everything we do is how it will make us feel. You probably put some old for lounging at home clothes because you think - "It doesn't matter how I dress, nobody will really see me.". Well, you know who will see you? YOU. Every time you walk next to the mirror, you're gonna probably cringe a bit. Or, just start avoiding mirrors. But then you'll focus on that food stain on your shirt that you couldn't get rid of since that dinner 3 years ago. I bet that won't make you feel good too.
It really isn't about the need to satisfy some ideal standards that society is trying to push on you. It's about You and how it makes You feel.
Imagine yourself in silk pajamas, or in an elegant robe. Or a matching set of quality loungewear. Or beautiful lingerie. Or soft lush slippers. Can you sense that beautiful material touching your skin? It's exquisite. It's luxurious. This is how you should feel all of the time.
You can also use this time to go through the rest of your closet. If you don't have it already, try to discover your signature style. Browse through Pinterest or Instagram and be aware of emotions that arise when you see something you really like. Save those pictures and go through them more deeply - what exactly is on this photo that appeals to me so much? Is it the color? The texture? The form? Jewelry? Play around with it until you have a clear vision of what kind of clothes and accessories would make you feel confident in your own version of femininity. The next step is something I do regularly - Marie kondo your closet! I bet it needs it.
3. Style Up Your Hair and Makeup
The same thing with clothes - it's all about how it makes you feel.
I don't know about you, but I know that I feel So Much Better when I do my hair and just a little bit of makeup - even if only ones who will see me are my 3 doggies. I bet you do too.
When you feel like a million bucks you start acting like it. You show up for yourself differently, You're more confident. You start wearing that inner allure like perfume. Which is next on the line.
4. Wear Perfume
As Paloma Picasso said:
A perfume is like a piece of clothing, a message, a way of presenting oneself, a costume that differs according to the woman who wears it.
Being sensual is about using all of your senses, so don't forget your sense of smell. There is something so enchanting about a woman who always smells divine. It completes her personality; gives that final touch to her style.
Have in mind that femininity has its nuances and you won't feel the same every day. Always have a few bottles of perfume available so you can use the one that will exactly underline your emotions and style of the day.
5. Style Up Your Home
It will be hard to bring out your sensual side if your home is cluttered or messy.
Your Inner and Outer World influence each other and that's why you should always be aware of your surroundings and how they make you feel.
You want your home to feel cozy but elegant, homey but stylish, adorned but warm and inviting. You need to feel the energy moving freely in the space.
If this sounds like you need to spend a lot of money on - you don't. There are so many ways of reusing what you already have and making it pop up as a new and chic accessory in your home. Paint your walls or furniture in a different color. Put some peel and stick wallpapers on if you're renting. Spray paint your flower pots to gold or silver. Browse through Pinterest for some additional inspiration. There is a gazillion of DIYs there and you have all the time in the world to try them out atm.
If you don't know where to start, try taking pictures of your home and then look at them. You should get more clarity about what you want to get rid of or change that way.
6. Awaken Your Serenity
I know that staying calm and unfazed by what is happening around you right now (this is written during coronavirus crisis) is a tough thing to ask of you - but I will still try. Understand that feeling panic, anger, distress, sadness or helplessness is PERFECTLY NORMAL. We are really going through a hard time right now and you should feel free to feel how you want to feel.
However, you can still choose how you want to show up during these grim times, for yourself and your loved ones.
How do you want to be remembered by your friends and family after this is over? As a pillar of strength and serenity during harsh times or like someone who was tweeting every 15 minutes about how many more people got infected or died. Ask yourself - how is this serving people I love? How is watching the news all of the time serving me and my emotional health? It isn't. So Stop Doing It. Because you love yourself that much.
I will tell you something now with the uttermost confidence. This crisis will pass and everything will get back up on its feet. How can I be so sure? Because I went through something worse and I've seen how a nation rises up again and it's people rebuild their lives.
The country I grew up in, Croatia, went through 5 long years of war. I know it's hard for you now, but trust me, this can't compare to living in a war. Try to use that as a relief, as something to be grateful for. There are still so many more horrible things out there. You are, more or less, in control over how you can get in touch with the virus. There are actions you are doing to keep yourself and your family safe. Focus on that. Focus on what you can control. For more information visit my blog post on things you can and should control in your life here.
7. Stay Productive
Sensual woman is an accomplished woman. She moves with confidence because she owns a sense of purpose.
To stay productive doesn't necessarily consider just women working from home (or not working atm). You can be a stay at home mom who now has even more on her plate because your kids are at home all day.
Give yourself a purpose for the day, even if you're just spending it at home. Think about what you want to accomplish, make a schedule and stick to it. It doesn't have to be something overwhelming. Just something big enough that will make you feel good after you finish it.
This is a perfect time to read that book you were wanting to read or to take that online class. Use this time to upgrade your knowledge and your skills instead of just lying on your sofa binging Netflix. You are in control.
No matter what is happening outside of you, you are in control of how you are spending your time and how you want to use or waste it.
8. Cook Savory Dishes
Oh, that beautiful food! Food is something that can captivate almost all of your senses. You can see it, touch it, taste it and smell it. When you pour yourself that glass of your favorite red wine you can even hear it too.
Lose yourself in an abundance of online food recipes or finally try out those from that cookbook you owned for years. It doesn't have to be anything too fancy. Just the mindful process of making food can make you feel like a goddess. You are providing sustenance for yourself and your family. Acknowledge it. Be proud of it. Enjoy it. And don't forget to ask your hubby to clean the kitchen after it ofc.
Try to bake your own bread at home. I do it all the time. There is something so warm and inviting about a home that smells like fresh-baked bread.
9. Take a Bubble Bath
Do I really need to explain this one? The magic that happens when you immerse your body in hot, beautifully smelling water? For me personally, it's like heaven on earth. There's nothing that connects me more to my sensual side than enjoying a bath.
Light some candles. Use your favorite essential oils. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Close your eyes and enjoy all the sensations. Or bring a good book and read it. Relax. You deserve it.
I saved the best thing for last. Even if you just have your favorite fluffy blanket to cuddle with - do it. Notice how it feels next to your skin. How warm and cozy it makes you. How safer you feel.
If you have children, pull them in your lap. Hold them close. Sing to them quietly. Brush their hair with your fingers. Let yourself feel that beautiful connection between a mother and her child.
Show love to your doggies or cats. They will return that love back in so many ways.
And, of course, there is your partner. Enjoy these times together. Hold each other. Watch movies close to each other. Savor the physical touch. The closeness. The love you have for each other. The abundance you already have in your life.