You're feeling stuck and unhappy, like you're living someone else's life. You have an idea what could make it better but you're struggling with making that life-altering decision, fearing the consequences of "What if I'm wrong?".
What if I told you every decision you make can be RIGHT?
Please let me explain.
Every decision can be right if you align yourself with it.
What does that mean, you ask? That means that when you think about the consequence of your decision you are at peace with it. Like, for real.
no matter what your momma says
no matter if your girlfriends tell you you're crazy
no matter if everybody you know will leave you
no matter if the quality of your life after that decision will decrease for a while
Because your soul is at peace and you KNOW deep inside that you made the right call.
You own your decision and you're determined to make the best of it.
It's important to understand that NOT making a decision is also a decision.
There are situations in which the answer will be to stay in that situation but to try to change your perspective about it and then find the reason that will make that situation enjoyable. For example, you want to change job you hate, but you decide to shift your mindset about it and suddenly you see in a totally different (positive) light. Or, your relationship is not fulfilling you anymore and you want to break up. But then, you decide that you'll give more love and attention and your relationship transforms into something beautiful again.
Always try to see your current situation from a different perspective: From a different light first. Try to fix it. But if it can't be fixed - them move on.
I'm not saying here that you need to do everything you just feel like doing all the time. There is a difference between a pull of intuition and a deep desire to live better and frivolously. Be smart.
I lost everything but I still never regretted my decision
If you read my story you know that I struggled A LOT after my divorce. I moved out of our apartment with my baby girl, taking only necessities, and rented a cheap old place (the only thing I could afford). I left everything else to my ex-husband just so I could have my peace of mind. Almost everybody I knew turned their backs on me because I decided that I deserved a chance to find happiness in this life. That caused me to feel abandoned and alone and even led to suicidal thoughts.
But even then - I never regretted my decision! I KNEW I chose the right thing, even if the consequences, at first, were really hard on me.
I'm not saying that every decision you make will give you instant happiness. Yes, it might get really tough. But it WILL give you freedom. It WILL give you a sense of control in your life.
How your life will look after that decision? That's completely up to YOU.
What is actually stopping you in making that decision?
Your THOUGHTS. You letting other people INFLUENCE YOUR JUDGEMENT.
That pressure and noise in your head that you keep hearing telling you:
What if I hate it there?
What if I want to come back?
What if my children will judge me?
What if it'll be too hard?
What if I won't fit in?
What if I'll end up on the street?
What if I lose my job?
- those are just your thoughts.
In order to make your decision, and align yourself with it, you have to start controlling your thoughts and free yourself from the opinions of others.
Control your thoughts
The answer to controlling your thoughts lies in the Present Moment. In mindfulness.
The best way to do that is by meditation. While meditating, you focus on your breathing patterns. Your mind probably wonders around but you are actively trying to pull it back to the Present Moment, to your breath. After a while, you'll notice how quiet it is. Now there is just You, no more thoughts. This is the time in space when you get ideas that just make you think "That's it!". Those are called Inspired Action and are messages from your Soul to You.
Did you notice how you get "the best ideas" right before you wake up or are falling to sleep? It's because there is no noise in your head anymore and you can hear your Inner Being more clearly.
If you struggle with meditation go for a walk in nature. Try not to think about anything, just observe. What do you see? Is it hot or cold? What can you smell? Don't try to name those observations, just feel them. You will start feeling relaxed and the noise will stop. And that's when your soul will whisper - let's do this.
Block out opinions of others
Nobody but You is walking in your shoes.
Nobody but you knows the reality of what is happening.
Nobody but You really knows how you feel inside.
Nobody but You knows what makes you happy.
That's why You are the only person whose opinion counts.
It's perfectly normal we want to share our struggles with people we trust and love, but you should always keep getting back to Yourself and your own judgment.
You have to understand that the opinions of others are based on THEIR experiences and THEIR reality. Even when they honestly love you and try to help you - they are still talking based on what they believe is true.
For example; if you want to get a divorce and your parents are very conservative and old-fashioned they will strongly object to it. Not because they don't love you anymore, but because in their reality this is a cause of public shame and suffering further in life and they want to protect you from it.
Or; you really want to get a degree in an area in which everybody tells you that you can't make money and live off of it. Those are just their experiences and beliefs. Who says you can't be a new Frida Kahlo?! But if you accept their beliefs as your own you sure as hell won't be.
Visualize the outcome
Visualizing the outcome of your decision will give you clarity and inspiration in deciding which path to take.
I'm not talking about The End of the World scenarios. Inspired action won't find you in place of fear, anxiety, and helplessness.
I'm talking about visualizing your Perfect Outcome.
How will you feel?
What will you be doing then?
Where will you live?
How will your lifestyle look like?
What kind of people will you surround yourself with?
What would you do for work?
This will raise your vibration and allow the answers to come to you.
Try writing A New Story - how life would look for you, in the best possible scenario, after you make that decision. How will your day look like?
Keep practicing this exercise until your New Past Decision Life feels so NORMAL to you that you will wake up one day in your current situation and ask yourself "What am I still doing here?!".